Running with scissors since 1970-something... Stay whimsical. Be incredible. It's your story.


Ohhhhh, fuuuuudge what a great Christmas present!! ...To get to visit a filming location from one of my favorite Christmas movies. The house, set in a fictional Indiana town, was home to Ralphie Parker, and set apart from other houses on the street by a mesmerizing "Major Award" in the front window

Watch the video: Me at A Christmas Story House... Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from that soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window--to get back home to edit and post this video for you. Merry Christmas and enjoy my magical trip to The Christmas Story House and Museum in Cleveland, OH... Just A Few Places I've Been!!

Flick: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!

Schwartz: That's 'cause you know it'll stick!

Flick: You're full of it!

Schwartz: Oh yeah?

Flick: Yeah!

Schwartz: Well, I double-dog-dare ya!

Ralphie Parker: Now it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a ‘triple dare you?’ And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.

Schwartz: I triple-dog-dare ya!

Ralphie Parker: Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a b!@#$! – Ralphie Parker

Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl. – Ralphie Parker

Every family has a kid that won't eat. My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years. – Ralphie Parker

Ralphie Parker: No, no! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!

Santa Claus: You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.

Oh, life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us. – Ralphie Parker

Randy Parker: I can’t put my arms down!

Mrs. Parker: Well, put your arms down when you get to school.

Ralphie Parker: Scut Farkus!

Ralphie as an Adult [narrating]: Scut Farkus! What a rotten name! We were trapped. There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So help me, God! Yellow eyes!

Ralphie Parker: The old man stood there, quivering with fury, stammering as he tried to come up with a real crusher. All he got out was—.

The Old Man: Naddafinga!

Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor—heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Lifebuoy, on the other hand—” – Ralphie Parker


Source of all quotes and images: A Christmas Story (1983) MGM

This page is intended as a fan tribute to the movie.